Every now and then you hear about an online dating success story. For some people, it’s hard to imagine finding a potential husband or wife that way. Others are completely hopeful and open to the idea. I have my own personal feelings about online dating. If you ask me if it’s something you should do, my answer will most likely be a big fat enthusiastic “YES, GO FOR IT.” Why am I so optimistic and hype, you ask? My husband and I are one of those success stories!
Yep, I met my husband back in 2011 on Match.com. We were both living in Atlanta at the time, like 45 seconds away from each other… LITERALLY 45 seconds. The back gate to my apartment complex was right across the street from his townhome community. If you are from Atlanta or have ever lived in Atlanta, then you know that it’s hard AF to seriously date there. Although that’s the case, our reasons for joining an online dating site, were slightly different.
At the time, my husband worked in a position that required him to travel a lot for work. So, he didn’t really have the time or energy to go out and meet women. My reasons for joining were pretty typical, I was tired of dating fuck boys. If you don’t know what a fuck boy is, it’s a guy whose hobby is playing games… games with women, mind games, “ex” games, video games… you name it. I wasn’t interested and didn’t have the time for games, so I decided to take a different approach to dating and said, “what the hell, what can I lose.”
Going into this new dating venture, I knew what I wanted, knew my “deal breakers”, and was not willing to settle. As I started to get familiar with the site, I unknowingly started to create a list of “rules”, that would later lead me to my future husband. Please understand, it was not a walk in the park. Online dating can be an overwhelming, annoying, and impatient process. That’s why I want to share my four “rules” to help you clear out the shenanigans and find your MATCH.
RULE #1: 2 Weeks of “Pre-Dating”
- If you are on a dating site that requires you to pay a monthly subscription, then chances are, you are serious about connecting with someone. That’s why it’s important to “pre-date”. Pre-dating is getting to know someone strictly through your dating site. And most of the time, the only way to do that is through email. So, if a guy asks you for your phone number within 2 weeks of “pre-dating”, he’s a NO! You both paid to be on this dating website, so DATE ONLINE. Emailing can be a great way of getting to know each other, without all of the initial awkwardness. If you jump the gun by giving someone your number too early, and it turns out you’re not interested, guess what… that person still has your number and you could potentially be stuck with them.
RULE #2: Now is the time to be PICKY
- Be as picky as you want. Most sites ask you what you would like in a match. DON’T SETTLE. If your dream guy is over 6ft, has a Master’s degree, and smokes a little something every now and then, say that. If you are open to dating outside of your race, don’t limit that part of your search. Whatever it is you want, be specific and let the site do the work for you. They will send you the matches that closely fit your requests. Take the info they give you and go from there. You’re designing this dating experience specifically for you. Don’t settle.
RULE #3: Originality Gets Your Attention
- If a guy comes at you with a corny line like “you’re so beautiful, I would love to take you out”, he’s a NO! Aht aht, it’s not that easy sir. You can literally hear that same line walking down the street. He needs to be able to tell you something you don’t know already and capture your attention in a way that intrigues and piques your interest. He needs to be capable of making you laugh and think.
RULE #4: Keep the Meet-Up Simple
- If he does make it past the two weeks of “pre-dating” online, and he asks you out, meet somewhere that’s quick and easy to exit. A good place to start would be a coffee shop like Starbucks. Pay for your own drink. If you’re not feeling him, then you can get the hell out of there and you’re only out $5. But if you find yourself enjoying the conversation and his company, then make plans for your official first date!
So now that you have MY rules, tweak them, add to them, and make them YOUR OWN. Have fun and HAPPY DATING!!
Comments